I think it's safe to say that it's incredibly difficult to be a voice of reason in a crowd of people who don't want to hear the truth. I know I for one have a hard time speaking up in these types of situtations because I don't want to step on anyones toes and I don't want to have people upset with me. Greek life is no different. In fact, it's more difficult for me to find my voice in a group of people that I know I have to be friends with long-term in college, and these girls are my sisters. However, just because I long to fit in with these girls, it doesn't mean that I approve of all their actions, in fact there are many girls who feel the same way. None of us speak up though and it has many negative implications on our my sorority, and it continues to reinforce stereotypes that many of us are working so hard to break away from.
I love my sorority and I love my sisters, I have to say that first because I don't want people to get the impression that I am unhappy or that I am judging this group of girls. I am optimistic but at the same time, I know everywhere I go, when I am wearing my letters or a shirt that affiliates me with greek life, I am being judged and so is anyone else in my shoes. The people who know nothing about greek life see our actions and group us all together so we all have to be on our best behavior all the time. An example of the bystander effect is when we are at socials and TG's. There is a member who is constantly embarrassing with her actions and her words and despite the fact that EVERYONE notices it, nothing is said to her about her inappropriate behavior. It's hard because no one wants to be "that girl" who rains on someone elses parade, but that is what needs to be done. What ends up happening is people that people look down on her. If we're around people outside of greek life, they assume that we all find that acceptable, which we don't. It reflects badly on my sorority, which I love, and on greek life, which I also love. I think there are a lot of girls in my shoes, ones who assume if the behavior is unacceptable, than someone else will tell her. It doesn't seem like anyone wants to stand up and say something so they pass the buck. It's not right and it can be very damaging to not only that girl, but the entire greek community.
Hillary, one thing you can do, which is what we do in my chapter is have brotherhood (sisterhood) evaluations. During these evaluations which are anonymous except for our Brotherhood chair, each person submits feedback about all brothers in the form of a positive comments and a constructive criticism. I myself was criticized as i criticized my brothers but in a positive non-intending-to-harm way. I know i learned some things to work on and i hope people in my chapter will do the same with their evals. I feel this would work well for that member who " who is constantly embarrassing with her actions and her words and despite the fact that EVERYONE notices it"
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